Years from now, we will be able to regale the younger generations with tales of the great TP shortage of 2020. You get to decide how those tales are recorded. Do you want to tell your spawn that you broke down and started using leaves? Or, would you rather modernize your bathroom and save yourself from both future discomfort and crappy stories? America, it is time for the bidet revolution. 

For the uninitiated: a bidet is a bathroom appliance that shoots a stream of clean water at your rear to clean it. It feels a bit weird at first but the benefits are numerous. Provided you position yourself properly, a bidet is capable of cleaning your rectum better than toilet paper can. For the most part, you do not even need to wipe after using one. Bidets are also more environmentally friendly than using toilet paper. A study performed by environmentalists on the Treehugger news site noted that a single roll of toilet paper uses 12 to 37 gallons of water during production. From growing lumber to transporting the product, those gallons do start to add up. That study also noted that a bidet uses an eighth of a gallon per standard use. Granted, the term “standard use” is vague but a bidet usually only takes a few seconds to do its job. 

Part of the reason bidets have not taken off in the US is the idea that they are difficult to install and expensive. Plumbing installation can be difficult but a simple home bidet kit is generally easy to install. Most kits have instructions and plenty of YouTube videos also exist. A home bidet kit usually runs around $30. If that price is too steep, you can install a hose for a third of that. Just make sure you aim well.